If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
