You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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