South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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