i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
