Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
smell my finger.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
