You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
