WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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