Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
