I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize