He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize