IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
