Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
