It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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