Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
