My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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