Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
