he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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