I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
