And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
And then he peed in my hair
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