I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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