Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
