so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
