do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
