hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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