Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize