My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
40s are totally the cure
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
