he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
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