I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
