people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
