he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
