What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
