the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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