"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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