ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
