we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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