Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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