New low: just hacked my moms facebook
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Houston, we have a blender
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
