Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
