I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Randomize
