worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
