Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
