Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
