dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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