ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
It's rum buckets o'clock
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
