i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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