Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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