dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
