dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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