i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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