just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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