I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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