3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
