I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize