Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
foreskin is a definite game changer
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
