She said her name was "party"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
