Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
