"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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