you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
