Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize