1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
