we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize