Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
