the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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