just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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