so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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