Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The adults are the big ones right?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
