Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
