Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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