You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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