I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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