I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I still have a little drunk in my system
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
