this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
