new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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