also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
