We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize