watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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