there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I have peed in a lot of sinks
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
