Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
