Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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