Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
