I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
