I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
