and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
