I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
